The Daily Aztec

Issue date: 2/26/07 Section: Dating and Romance

Media Credit: Liquid Library

Editor's note: Some names in this story have been changed.



It's your wedding day. You're about to walk down the aisle, lift up the veil and look your future husband in his eyes. After you're married, you'll be presented to all your family and friends and will finally get to kiss the man you've been waiting to marry ... for the first time.

For many Muslims, this scenario is the norm. After a short "courtship" - dating is forbidden in Islam - Muslim men and women decide to get married. If marriage is delayed, it is said to have deviated from its natural course according to a marriage handbook for Muslims. So many Muslims choose to be married quickly, as soon as they find their partner.

Leading up to the wedding, couples can talk on the phone, but sexual conversations are not allowed. If the couple wishes to meet face-to-face, they may do so, but only if there is a third party present (often a male relative of the bride). Physical contact of any kind is strictly forbidden until after marriage.

Aisha, 29, is a senior at San Diego State, and is preparing for a wedding to a man she has never met.

"Marriage is valued in Islam, and we do it for our religion," she said.

Aisha, who converted to Islam less than two years ago, has been married once before and has a 3-year-old son from that marriage. She says it was this relationship that brought her to Islam, and it's why she has now decided to marry someone within her faith.

"I was in a relationship with someone who said they were Muslim, but they never prayed," she said. "It was a nightmare, and he didn't care about respecting his wife or his child. We weren't compatible anymore."

Aisha, who wears the traditional hijab (head scarf) and abaya (dress) to school to cover her shape, is first looking for a man who values the same strong religious foundation she does. She says that the other aspects of the relationship will fall into place.

"If you have a lot of knowledge (about Islam), but don't live your life correctly, I'm not interested," she said.

But for those most interested in meeting a devout Muslim partner, it's not easy to get face time with a potential mate. Men and women are separated while worshipping at the mosque. As a result, many Muslims meet through friends or family members.

"People think that we have arranged marriages, but it's forbidden in the Quran to marry against a person's will," Aisha said. "The marriage would be seen as invalid.

Continued...

Page 1 of 2 next >

Article Tools