DATING WITH DEVIN: Why New Year's is the worst holiday ever

I hate New Year's. It's easily the worst holiday on the books. And the reason is simple: It's a couple's holiday, complete with pressure. The whole point of New Year's is to kiss someone at midnight - for some people, to kiss several someones. This is true of almost every holiday to some extent, but there's usually something else redeeming about the day. If you're single on Christmas at least you get presents. On Thanksgiving, you get food. If you're single on New Years, you get drunk. Very drunk. The other couples holiday is Valentine's Day, but the pressure is on a woman to have a date for Valentine's day. If you're a single guy on Valentine's Day, you can laugh as your coupled-up friends spend hundreds of dollars on flowers and jewelry while you play Xbox and wait for your very single ex-girlfriend to text you. Right now, most of the women reading this are saying, "But I love New Years." Of course you do. Everyone is looking to hook up on New Years. Or so I've been told. The problem is that everyone is out at the same bar I'm at. It's extremely loud, there are too many people and I've been separated from my friends for 20 minutes. Because it's so loud, you can't talk to anyone. The only way to show that girl by the bar I'm interested is to dance near her -- which always fails. Of course, if I was a girl, this would be as effective as fishing with dynamite. For a woman on the prowl, showing her target she's interested is as simple as touching him on the shoulder. And this is why for women, New Year's is great. There's no danger that they're going home alone. It's much more difficult for guys, especially if their game is predicated on talking - but this is a whole different column, so I'll save my thoughts on this for another article. For a guy, it's good odds if he goes out alone, he's spending the night with a bottle of Cook's champagne and some magazines featuring ads for whiskey and cigarettes. The other problem with New Year's is all the pressure. My friend and I had a conversation last Friday - almost a month before New Years - about what we were doing for the holiday. Everyone goes into the night thinking it'll be the best night ever. Also, everyone's planning on hooking up. All the pressure builds up and you wind up awkwardly high-fiving your buddies at midnight in the parking lot of a Holiday Inn. And that's the last, and biggest reason, that I hate New Year's. As midnight approaches, you feel like Jack Bauer in "24." There's a ticking bomb in the room, and if you don't kiss someone at midnight it's going to explode. So you start approaching people you'd normally never talk to, because not locking lips when the new year starts is the worst thing in the world. What do you do when the ball drops and you're alone? Do you hug your friends? Do you try to take a shot? Do you catch the eye of that girl across the room who looks as miserable as you? It's official. New Year's sucks. - Devin Kunysz is a marketing senior who wants to kill himself just thinking about New Years. - This column does not necessarily reflect the opinion of The Daily Aztec.

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